Dealing With Deception by Your Child
There is a pretty good chance that you have met someone who was not truthful. At school, these kids would take every opportunity to raise the score in their favor with falsehoods, especially when they thought no one else was looking. Dishonesty is something we must learn to handle from the time we are young until our older days present us with even more complex challenges. Dishonesty is the foundation of every fictional story and most videos that can be seen on television or the big screen. There may have been a time or two when compliments are given that are not genuine but help in a certain situation.
Analyzing lies, especially ones that come from those close to us is almost always very ugly. Lying is ugly behavior in any circumstance, and understanding the motivations behind someone’s lies is not always easy to get at. Sometimes, a lie is as simple as a story that someone makes up to sound interesting or to be entertaining or accepted. Other people use deception as a way to cheat someone out of something in some way. Lying is not only stressful for those who are lied to, any normal person who has told a lie always finds it easier to keep up with the truth about what has happened instead of remembering what imaginary reality was told to which person.
I hope and pray that I’ve passed on some of my own life lessons and experiences to my children so that they understand to behave with honesty and integrity. My children need to understand that lying causes more problems than they create and that as parents, we don’t automatically believe everything they say all of the time. I think that the top reason for kids lying is to avoid trouble or punishment and I doubt that that will ever change; no kid wants detention and no kid wants to be grounded. Yet, we must make parenting decisions based on fairness and understanding whilst still being firm. Lying about one’s behavior is an ethical problem that has shown its downsides for thousands of years.
How to Tell if Your Kids are Lying
As parents, we usually know if our children are being forthright. We know our children enough to notice the nervousness in their eyes as they recite their alibis. We can tell if our children are genuinely interested in something or if they are just buttering us up to get what they want. A lot of information can come from body language and simply knowing your children well, but a story not grounded in truth will quickly fall apart. Asking questions about different details that they might not have thought of when coming up with a story can give some indication as to whether or not the story is coming from memory of a real experience or an imagined one. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but many of our children have lied to us at some point. Each time there must be a process which allows us to come to terms and find forgiveness so that we can continue to grow from our experiences instead of letting them hold us down.
The Principal’s Office
Tall tales of feats that were never accomplished are one thing, but fun and games are over when it comes to school administrators. The Principal’s Office at each school around the globe is responsible for establishing a code of conduct that the parents and the school can agree on that will be best suited for their child’s educational needs. Students who find themselves at the Principals Office with their parents will suddenly have a moment of truth where the story that they told their Principal and teacher is different than the one that they told their parents. This creates an even worse experience than what was already occurring with the parent conference, but it also makes everyone feel bad for not receiving the truth right away. Parents want to be there for their children, but if their children cannot be honest then it puts the parents in a delicate situation.
There is no cure-all for the problem of falsehoods. They are a fact of life and there will always be some oratory fabrication somewhere, if only to spice up a conversation. Losing trust in someone is difficult, especially when that person is someone you care deeply about. The important thing is to not lose focus of the fact that we do care about these people, which is why we must find a way to make amends so that bonds of trust can be rebuilt from love, even in the midst of a lack of confidence.